Receive IT!

 "You're Amazing."

I read that on a text sent to me recently. My eyes glazed over it and I thought fleetingly, "oh that's nice..." Not really taking the comment in. Not receiving it. Just a brush off of lip service. 

Fast forward the next day. I'm writing love notes to my teachers and I find myself penning, "you're amazing" in the note.  I truly think that teacher is amazing. She amazes me with her commitment to planning instruction, supporting students, giving herself to her career. I believe she is amazing in every sense. 

My mind then wandered back to that text. Someone thinks that about me. Why didn't I accept that? Why wouldn't I allow myself to receive that message wholeheartedly?

Where was the wall? The disconnect? 

Why do I...we..refuse to take things in that we are so readily able to give?

Forgiveness

         Compliments

                    Help 

                          Love

When I worked in high schools I was constantly telling the young girls to talk to themselves like they would their best friend.. to treat themselves like they would treat their best friend...

Practice what I preach... 

I have promised myself I will actively begin to do this. 

On this page I will not only give, but will also receive. 

I will let the walls down.. I will believe the words, accept the love. 

And that fills the page..surrounds the heart...and makes me smile. 

And then it happens...

 Anyone who knows me knows I have an appetite for reading. I LOVE to read. I devour books. This in turn, means words are everything to me. My love language is words of affirmation, my house is full of phrases, I pin a billion quotes, music lyrics stir my heart.

This morning I came across this:

    And then it happens.....One day you wake up and you're in this place. You're in this place where everything feels right.

Lately, I have been waking up in this place. Every. Single. Day. 

Old Jen, Jenny, Jennifer would be scared shit-less to admit this.. I would be holding my breath waiting for the bad to creep in..

Drinking my coffee, I realize that the bad stuff still is creeping in. 

Yesterday, I danced and sang while blowing drying my hair, excited to wear orange to work for Bullying Prevention Month, woo-hooing that it was Friday. Then...

I 

    FELL

        DOWN

                MY 

                    STEPS

Like legit, half a flight of stairs, dumping coffee along the way all over me, bruise creating a third booty cheek.

But, I still went through my day in my place. This feel good, at peace, beautiful place.

My booty just hurt, A LOT.

And today, shutdowns from COVID are looming, fires are burning, and I am still in my place.

I wish I could say I know how this happened, but I am not totally sure. Something in my heart just shifted.. 

I think another page just turned.. 

Haha!

 

I love quotes and this morning I stumbled across this....

It resonated with me. I remember thinking that turning 38 and 2020 would be my year... Haha! Then a little enemy name Corona, or COVID slipped in and turned everything into a giant tornado of shit.

I moved this Spring thinking a new place would be a fresh start. Haha! I hate not being in the mountains. Last Spring I remember thinking, next school year was going to so great! Haha! It is one of the most stressful starts ever with quarantines, stress, and pandemonium. 

But this morning I read this. I read this quote and could feel that stirring in my heart again. That little bit of excitement and momentum that comes with goals and dreams. 

This year isn't over and I am not 39 yet and I remembered that I have goals. 2 huge goals that are brewing. 2020 and 38 cannot knock me over. They cannot shake me.

I have already climbed bigger and harder mountains and made it. Not only made it but kicked the ever living crap out of them.

So yes, life..2020, COVID, and 38, I am entering a next level. A game changing level and it is creating a newer, tougher, and different version of me. It isn't just a new page, it is an entirely new chapter...maybe even a new Part 2 novel in the series.

I am excited, rejuvenated, and ready.

Goals are meant to be chased, caught, and chased again.

Cheers to Part 2.. and whoever says sequels are never as good as the original..

Haha!