Be FREAKING present!

Lately I have been having many conversations that end with, "were you present?" 

(Example, I lost my shoe..no idea where it went.."were you present?" I seriously cannot find my deodorant..I looked for days...found it in my box of masks..."were you present?")

At first the question was sort of cute..like haha..my mind was a million places. 

Then it got sort of annoying...like.. "you try to be present with a your mind thinking and caring and meeting the needs of  everyone and everything." [insert an grumpy face and maybe a foot stomp or hrmmph.]

Then last night it sort of clicked in my brain. That last puzzle piece to complete the whole picture.

I was flipping through a gallery of photos and staring at my daughter. Taking in the fact that she is now a young adult..a beautiful woman. Staring at her picture a billion other images flashed in my mind..how she looked the moment they placed her on my chest and I finally saw her, the image of her little smooshed face in her head helmet, the littlest piggy tails, writing blues clues notes, setting up her sisters/the American Girls, playing the violin at church, swim meets, orchestra concerts...the list goes on and on. 

As all these images played out in my mind I realized how fast they went. How 15 years was a blink. 

And then it hit me. More so plowed me right off my feet. 

Was I Present?

Was I Present?

Was I freaking Present?

How many times did I mhhmmm and nod my head only partially listening, how many times was I too busy, how many times did I choose work over..????

And I let that sink in to my heart and my gut. 

I miss out when I am not present. I miss out when I am not fully living in that time and that moment and that space.

There is not a pause button on life. 

However, practicing fully being and experiencing and being in tune can slow things down. It can help be right there engaged. 

When I do this.. my mind is clearer, my emotions are managed, my anxiety decreases, my heart is fuller, I can take that moment in. I can feel it, breathe it, and live in it.

I think this is why I am always so drawn to littles. 4 year olds live in the raw moment. They are in such touch with their feelings, surroundings, and life. And in turn they are really living..experiencing..taking it all in..

Be present, breathe in the moments, live the memories.

The chapters written from this will be so..so...soo much more.